Don’t Underestimate Your Presence
Kathy and I talked about the importance of friendship just last night. James Taylor has a great song, "You've Got a Friend", but when you begin to count your friends, who is your real friend? Who cares enough to show up when you need them? My family has been visited by death many times, and I have to say that at the wake or the funeral I was buoyed up by the people who showed up. As Woody Allen is supposed to have said, "80 percent of success is showing up".
Holding that thought I read an article by David French that says, "The longer we march through these anxious, sad, and divided times, the more I am convinced that the bigger story, the story behind the story, of our bitter divisions and furious conflicts is our loss of belonging, our escalating loneliness. And one of the markers is the extraordinary decline of friendship."
As I read this, I began to think about this was another way that Covid has changed the world. Zoom and working from home has made a contribution to this malaise. On the other hand, the church, of all places, offers in-person belonging - one of the trademarks of what it means to be part of the church. It's a place where you can connect and be part of something bigger - it is a place where you can go when you are not in a good mood, feeling down, upset, or just plain lonely. Not to make this too dramatic, but there is something to the term, "ministry of presence".
Recently a family was preparing to go to a funeral. The deceased had died suddenly and tragically, sending shockwaves through the entire family network. One of the siblings told me that he was taking his whole family to this funeral out of state, a considerable number of people, but he said that he felt helpless and didn't know what to say. I responded by saying that his presence meant a lot. It does. Never minimize what it means to show up, and not just when someone is in need. For example, recently I showed up at the firemen's inspection and dinner and several people came up to me and said thanks for coming. I was surprised how the simple act of being there could make a difference.
We live in a world where many people don't show up. They don't come to community meetings, they don't come to vote, and they don't go to church often or not at all. We may be the most informed people who ever lived, the most connected by social media, but also the most lonely.